Pillow Talk

I would like to give you the script from the conversation I had with my honey as we're about to go to sleep.

Me. "What are we going to get your mom for her birthday?"

Him. "A bird."

Me. "I don't think she'd like that very much since we ate the last bird she had." (It was a chicken.)

Him. "Then I don't know."

Me. "Oh we should get her a duck!"

Him. "No."

Me. "I want a duck."

Him. "No."

Me. "Please! I'll name it Louise. And then Ally will be happy cause that's her middle name!"

Him. "No."

Me. "But I'll name it Marty! Marty the Mallard."

Him. "You're already changing the name, you're obviously not attached to it."

Me. "I'm just going through the types of ducks I could have."

Him. "You're not getting a duck- you can have a dog."

Me. "You know, growing up I had a dog, a goat, 5 birds, 10,000 rabbits, a guinea pig, and 2 iguanas."

Him. "And what happened to them all?"

Me. "Well. Died of old age, gave it away, flew away or died, ran away or ate their babies, ran away, and gave away."

Him. "So what you're saying is you take really good care of your animals?"

Me. "Good night."


He should be a lawyer.