Some days I wish that I could move home. To be taken care of, to stop swimming upstream, to just flow. To curl up on the couch in December and watch Danny Kaye dance across the television screen, making a girl float with him. I'm blinded by the twinkle lights. I can smell the ginger snaps. I just want a house that's a home.
It all came crashing down when we were thinking of moving to Lompoc. My immediate response was, "I don't know- it's kinda far." And his was a confused, "From what?" Ouch. He was right though- the only anchor I have is him. I've never renewed a lease. I'm not cut out for this life like my sister. She's the nomad, I'm the homebody. That's how it's always been. But we've switched roles and I don't like it. Everything's up in the air and I don't know how to juggle.